Once again, I am sending you a blog not as a fellow gardener, but as a caring friend. You can see in the photo a shoehorn laying on top of sneakers. Now these are not just any sneakers—these shoes have a soul that can communicate with the wearer. In this case, these sneakers perceived the moans and groans as I bent over to tie these shoes. In a soft and gentle voice, they told me to tie the bows in a knot.

They said to remove the sneakers at the end of the day, simply use one shoe to press on the heal of the other. Then use your bare foot in a similar fashion to remove the other shoe. They said to immediately search on Amazon for long handled shoehorns. There I would find 2 shoehorns under the Velette brand for $15. Now, these wouldn’t arrive for 2 days, so I was told to plan on wearing a different pair of shoes until my order arrives. The shoes said to order a second shoehorn because they had heard moans and groans from the other side of the bedroom.

 I have been to a lot of estate sales, and it was not uncommon to find a long-handled shoehorn among the estate remains. It always made me somewhat sad that whoever had died, had to resort to using such a device. Well, guess who must be getting old?

 When that time arrives for you, you may find your soulful sneakers talking to you. If you bought them at Fleet Feet, they were expensive. That’s the price you pay for English speaking sneakers. If you bought them at an outlet store or a store like T.J. Maxx, you paid less, but the language spoken won’t be English. You will need to use Google Translator unless you happen to be lucky and can speak that same language.

 In the meantime, don’t fret. When that day arrives, simply listen to your sneakers and do what they say—life will be easier if you do.

Stan, The Old Man